Today is THE DAY.

About this time last year, I signed up, again, for WW.  Tracked for about a minute.  That was my 2nd time to do Weight Watchers.  The first time I lost 30 pounds which was back in early 2010.  It was awesome, it was easy.  But…I got bored with tracking points…I figured I knew the point value of every thing I put in my mouth so I didn’t need to actually go online and track.  This is where THAT got me:


Yes,  I was eating everything…..even my butt got into the act….it started eating my pants.  It’s been down hill for the past 3 years.

Things have happened in my life that past year that have made me sit back and “take inventory” of my life.  I lost my brother, I’ve got issues with my shoulder and knee (yes, I know…my weight is the biggest cause), Cedar Point is no longer a day of rides since my ‘trunk’ will no longer fit into their cars…(omg…I can’t believe I am putting this out there).  I need to set a better example for my beautiful, wonderful daughter…who is just like me.  She will/does struggle with her weight as I have…..but I’m changing that effective today….and my son has decided to double major…no longer just Culinary, he is going into Dietary Culinary.  Can’t help but to think that that might be his way of secretly trying to help me.

I will never be a size 8…or 10…maybe not even a 12.  But I’m ok with that.  I just don’t want to be the size I am today.  Every September, Malabar Farm holds “Heritage Days”…it’s a cool working farm (will have its own post).  They have encampments….and a classmate of mine is there every year….and we make a point of finding him every year….shooting rifles at the same place.  We actually call this weekend “The Yearly Photo Op With Lou” weekend.  Looking at my weight gain in these yearly pictures troubles me.

Photo Op With Lou 2011
Photo Op With Lou 2012
Photo Op With Lou 2013


Love how the last one shows all of my “fluff”…..


Then there’s this picture…..where you can actually see my arm….so FAT!!!   Oh, and that’s another guy I went to school with…


I HATE looking at these.  In reality, I could just turn my head…put them in a drawer….not bring them up on the computer…… BUT….I still have to look in the mirror…..and try to zip my pants.  And I hate that I have to wear tennis shoes all the time because if I don’t my feat hurt and my ankles swell up…..and I dread going shopping for clothes….and fear seeing people I haven’t seen in 20+ years…..and I hate being uncomfortable in a booth at a restaurant.  And I want to set a better example for my daughter… in order to do that….I need to change.

My goal is to get back into these capris…NOT the fanny pack……but the rest of the outfit.  It is from 2003.  Over 10 years ago….I was no where close to being smokin’ hot…I was not a size 10…..or even close….but it was the time I felt the best about who I was.  Yes, I still have those clothes….they are my goalkeeper…and this picture reminds me that I still had lumps, but they looked better.


I will battle with the husband who has to have his chocolate bar, snack cakes, 6-pack of DIET Pepsi everyday.  And not gain weight.  I joke that I am such a good wife that I gain it for him.  I will battle with the kid at work who enjoys eating out/ordering in for lunch every day.  I will battle with what I am battling with now at home….boredom.

Jump forward a few hours…..I went to the doctor today, as you should before starting any weight loss program….and for my shoulder…that has been killing me for quite some time.  My blood pressure was through the roof…and it never has been.  Could have been from my anxiety over this dang shoulder and that fact that it sometimes feels like a heart attack.  But, they wanted to make sure, so I had an EKG (and some ultrasound therapy from the Chiro).  All is well, so I am clear to do the WW thing.  I went to the grocery store and loaded up on my fruits and other healthy snacks.  Came home and portioned out a few things….I even went and bought a new scale…so there is no denying it’s accuracy when I weigh in next week.

And there is no denying I have a great support system.  Thank you.  You know who you are.